PHONES ON A PLANE

Have you heard the latest? The FCC is thinking about letting us use cell phones while flying. My response? Please, please, please don't let people talk on planes.  Give them back their matches, their knives, their liquids that weigh more than three ounces, but please, don't let them use their cell phones.

We all know why. Every one of us has been trapped in a checkout line, on a bus,  or in a dental office at some time or another.  And in said location, there is always one of those people who just has to talk on her phone. Loudly. In an irritating East Coast accent. With total disregard for her surroundings and no boundaries to speak of. And we've all entertained murderous thoughts at those times. Admit it. You're only human after all.

I've actually abandoned full carts of groceries to get away from the inconsiderate cell talker who proclaims to the entire Safeway that she is getting a divorce from a cheating husband, has a teenage son in rehab after a suicide attempt and is considering a trip to Aruba. It's annoying as hell and no one but the cell talker cares in the slightest. At least I could get away from the grocery store offender.  Not so on a plane. You're trapped.

Air travel is already about as fun as a root canal and now we're going to have to listen to fellow passengers discuss their divorces, dalliances and daily lives with no escape. Say it isn't so. And if it will be so, please give us back the sharp objects.  They most certainly will come in handy.