Sunday, December 1, 2013

TWERK LIKE A JERK

My husband and I have been married for 17 years, and while I wouldn’t say the thrill is gone, on occasion it turns up missing. Here’s the most recent example.

My husband is sitting in front of the television on a Sunday afternoon.  He’s watching a football game and probably will watch another after this one is over. I’m in the kitchen, fretting over what to prepare for dinner.  Not really.  I rarely fret and when I do, it’s definitely not over dinner. I’m actually preparing lunch and peeking at the game.

The cameraman turns his lens to the sexy cheerleaders on the sidelines and I get an eyeful of what I’d call the new version of “dirty dancing”.  These hot babes are humping like dogs in heat. 

“Nice twerking,” I say to my husband. 

He’s too engrossed watching the gyrating chicks on the screen to respond. When the camera returns to the game, he spins around to look at me.

“What’s twerking?” he asks.

Where has my husband been for the last few decades? How can you not know what twerking is? So, I decide to show, not tell. Big mistake on my part.

“This is twerking,” I say and shake my 50+ booty in front of him. He begins laughing uncontrollably, nearly reaching hysterics.

“You really shouldn’t ever do that again,” he says, once he can breathe again.


“Thanks a lot,” I say, embarrassed as hell.  The thrill is definitely gone when it comes to twerking for my husband.  Guess I better leave that to the cheerleaders.

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